No, I'm not referring to the most popular song from the movie "Frozen", but I'm sure many would admit it's the first thing that came to mind when they read these three words.
Recently these have been the hardest three words for me to hear. I'm continually learning as I walk this journey called life. I love to hold onto things- to remember, dwell on, come back to them. Sometimes this is a positive thing- good memories, important milestones, life's exciting moments. Sometimes these are things I can change- day to day choices, my own attitudes, perspectives, or reactions. But then there are those things that I can't control- other people's choices, death, sickness, and so much more. This is where it has been really difficult for me. I like control, but God's been asking me to give that control over to Him. He's not forceful, but patiently waits. This is what genuine trust and faith requires. God tests my love for Him by asking me to "let go".
Seems easy, right? Too often I'm holding onto things from my past, things that give me security, or things I find familiar, thinking I'm okay. In reality, I'm holding myself back from going forward, unhindered, into a much deeper relationship with God. A place with far greater rewards. I'm finding that as I start letting go of control there is a freedom that comes with it. A freedom to see God move in my life and those around me. A freedom to experience God's blessings in a way I couldn't receive them, while holding onto my plans. When I look at example after example of people in the Bible, I am reminded each follower of Christ had to let go of something. There is a sacrifice, a cost, involved. God's teaching me to give up things that are so insignificant compared to following Christ. It took me a while to recognize these strongholds in my life. However it is a lifelong journey- a constant evaluating of what I'm allowing to take the place of Christ and letting it go. What's so encouraging is that Christ continues to pursue me!
His plans include the best for me and even though I can't see what's down the road and fear starts to creep in, His gentle whisper "I'm in control. Trust me." brings a peace to my heart. He directs me and gives me just enough light for the step I'm on. And that's enough for me to "let it go".
We are full swing into the holiday season and it's time I take a much needed step back. Over time my perspective seems to have gotten a little off balance.
Recently I was reminded, again, that Thanksgiving is more than turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie. It's more than black Friday deals and crazy shopping and time off from school.
It's a time to celebrate family and all the blessings God has given us. In no way are these things bad, but too often I find these things become my focus. How much thought do I give God on this day? How much time do I spend actually thanking Him for all He's given me? Life, good health, salvation, family, a home, everything. I've seen how spoiled and selfish I can be. Sometimes I feel like I'm being sucked into a vortex of "life all about me"- a whirlwind that is so easy to be taken up in. It's all around me- in stores, ads, on the computer and television. However, I've also been to many places where people have so much less and yet have so much joy that isn't based on their possessions. They seem to have an internal well of joyfulness and giving. As a teacher, I stress to my students how important it is to have a constant heart of gratitude. It is an attitude that we have to develop. It is not something we should do only one
day per year. We should live gratefully every day!
And then we approach Christmas.... Christmas is more than the best decorated tree, the brightest house on the block, or having the most presents under the tree. As much as I love the festivities of baking, decorating, caroling, and shopping, I have to step back and reevaluate whether these things are consuming me. I have to honestly say, at times, they do. But what will be left after this December? Things break, trees and lights are taken down until next year, seasonal happiness tends to fade as "normal" life resumes, family gatherings disperse. However when I participate in angel trees, Christmas shoe boxes, and community Christmas programs, I'm quickly reminded that it's not about these things.
So, what is it about? Christ and the hope He brought to a lost world through His humble birth and eventual death on the cross. He gave the ultimate gift- His life- because of love. This gift surpasses any other gift we could ever receive. Christ is the One we celebrate. He wants to be the center of our celebration this season. I find Him in the beauty of the decorations, the words of famous carols, the smiles on the children's faces, the laughter of family. He's there if I look for Him.
When I was younger my family didn't exchange gifts. My mom would dress my two sisters and me up as angels and we'd go to nursing homes and other places and perform this play about the true meaning of Christmas being lost in the hustle and bustle of the season. It was a blessing and challenge to all who saw it. And in blessing others, we were blessed. Little did I know the continued impact that it would have on me years later.
So today I choose to approach this holiday season with a renewed excitement and a balanced perspective. There are endless opportunities to serve others and to actively show God's love in a tangible way. My prayer is, as I enjoy this Christmas season, that God would keep my heart and mind focused on the reasons to celebrate that will continue far beyond this December.
A lot of people ask me how my trip to the Dominican was. I hesitate wondering where to begin and question what aspect they are looking for in my answer. Do they want to hear what "jobs" we did? What relationships we formed? What we saw and how the people live? Or even deeper do they want to know how it changed me or how difficult it is coming back to America? I'm not sure even now what I write will begin to communicate what I experienced.
This was my second time in the Dominican Republic. (You can read about my previous trip in my blog.) There was an excitement going this time that I didn't have the previous time, because this time I had an idea of what I was going to encounter. I couldn't wait to see the faces of people I had grown to love the year before. I had heard of all that God had been doing since I'd been there, but soon I'd get to see it!
There is always a lot of preparation and this year was no different. We planned for a ladies event, vbs in two churches, Sunday school, youth group, and English classes. We also had to be ready to help remove the roof of the church in Higuey.
We left October 17th from St. Louis, Missouri. The sunrise view from the plane was breathtaking.
I got to talk to an older woman next to me about where we were going and before we got off she said she hoped that we'd be a blessing to those we met (which we always end up more blessed!). Instantly our team started connecting in a way that only God can do. We had a layover in Atlanta, Georgia, and headed on to Santo Domingo.
All our luggage arrived safely. I was so excited to see Ryan (the missionary we support) and his crew. Nahum is our faithful bus driver and youth pastor in Higuey. It was so good to see him too!
It was great catching up with them on the drive to La Romana, where we stayed at the mission house. It is a beautiful two story house with several decks/balconies.
I chose to stay on the second floor, because I have convinced myself tarantulas won't go up there (even though they climb well). We were even blessed with a view of the ocean. Heidy, Victor, and their family were there to cook dinner for us and welcome us. It was like a big family reunion. Erin (Ryan's wife) arrived with their three kids, who had grown so much in a year. It was great to catch up with her.
Saturday (18th) we loaded up the bus to go to Higuey- where Victor is pastor of the church. When we arrived at the church, the 150 kids we had planned on for the vbs had multiplied to over 200!
We started with some fun songs that we helped do the motions to. I'm sure we looked quite funny, but it was fun. Greg taught about following Jesus- with Ryan translating.
At the end of his lesson to illustrate the point, Greg did a conga line and we laughed so hard. It made the point of following Jesus.
I explained the craft, but considering we only had enough for 150 kids we had to improvise. In the end the kids had fun, and the craft was successful in spite of the chaos.
During our lunch break I finally learned how to play dominoes, officially. I enjoyed it enough that I bought myself dominoes before leaving the Dominican Republic. In the afternoon we went to see the basilica. It is beautiful and has an interesting story. Late afternoon we went to the Higuey youth group. We played some games that were new to the teens, but they caught on fast.They were entertaining to watch!
In the evening we visited and went to Bon for ice cream. Packed into the back of a pickup is an interesting way to travel, but I'd find out later in the week it would happen more frequently than I thought.
Sunday (19th) we went to church in La Romana. They have a Sunday school service for children first, then the regular church service following. There are around 100 kids that come. I loved hanging out with some of the kids before and after the services.
After singing several songs, with motions, to get the kids moving, one of the ladies in our group taught the Sunday school lesson on the good Samaritan. Several kids came up and acted out the story as it was translated.
They ended with a relay using band-aids. They got the concept of loving your neighbor. Then the church service started. The words were on the screen during the worship time so I could sing along, even if I didn't understand all that the words meant. Greg preached on taming your tongue. After church we went to see the completed medical clinic next to the church before heading to Jumbo's for lunch (like a Sam's Club). In the afternoon a few of us walked around the neighborhood of the mission house and were able to see what was in the area.
In the evening we went back to Higuey for their evening church service. It was full. My favorite moment was singing "How Great is Our God" in Spanish, English, and Hebrew.
I love that we can worship God together, no matter what language we sing in, at the same time. I'm starting to recognize more people each time we meet there. They are so gracious to visitors.
Monday (20th) we went to Higuey to remove the tin roof and wooden beams on the church to prepare for a concrete roof to replace it. This will provide security and the ability to build up eventually. I carried the metal sheets, held ladders so the guys wouldn't fall off, moved wood beams as they were taken down, and moved barb wire fencing.
It is a privilege to work alongside our team and the Dominican workers! My only mistakes of the day were cutting myself with barb wire and distracting one of our guys which resulted in a hammer hitting his face. On the way home the bus had a flat tire, which was a pretty lengthy process to replace it.
But, the blessings that came from that were seeing sugar cane fields close up, watching a beautiful sunset, and walking down the road to take a peek into life in a Haitian village. These workers only get $3 a day. It was like a hidden gem that we wouldn't have found if we hadn't broken down. The beauty, kindness, and simplicity of the people draws me.
Tuesday (21st) we went back to Higuey to finish the roof, but it was done. I did some tree trimming at the Indotel (the building across the street), shoveled some piles of dirt from holes the guys had dug, and helped knock out some concrete to even the walls for the roof to be level.
In the afternoon I spoke about "A Heart of Courage" at the ladies event at the church. Heidy (Victor's wife) did an awesome job translating for me.
We also had some crafts for the ladies to do. We only had around ten ladies come, but it was still a blessed time.
Wednesday (22nd) was beach day. It was a beautiful warm, sunny day to go to Bayahide! The water was incredible colors of blues and teals. We needed a relaxing day to swim, visit, and of course shop.
That night we went to a Toros baseball game, which is something you have to experience in the Dominican.
Thursday (23rd) morning we went to Higuey and split into two groups.
Each group went to several church member's homes. I went with Ryan, Nahum, Greg, Barb, Adam, Oscar, Dane, and Drew. We went to Gloria's house first. She has 5 kids. They live in a one room house with very little. We shared some verses and prayed for her and her family. We sang the song "Open the Eyes of My Heart, Lord" together in English and Spanish. The next house was a lady, her husband, and child. We shared verses and prayed again. They are trying to buy a small plot of land so they don't have to pay rent. Her husband needs work and it's hard to buy bread. The third house we went to we talked with 18 year old Jasmine, who is six months pregnant. Her story broke my heart. Her dad is currently sick and she needs her church family in this difficult time. Again we encouraged her with promises and I had the privilege to pray for her and her family. The last home we went to was another lady from the church. She's only been going for five months and chose to switch churches because she just wants to serve God. She lost her mother 4 months ago to sickness. She has a 9 month old baby to care for. She and her husband are out of work and she's afraid they might lose their "home" if they can't find work. She has a huge heart for God and was so welcoming to us. These homes were so simple yet they seem so rich in the little they have. They are very relationship oriented. It was, at times, very overwhelming for me as we went through these neighborhoods! To see how far many of them have to walk just to get to church each week shows their commitment to Christ.
In the afternoon we went to a Haitian church to do a vbs. We had probably 150 people in this little one room church.We got to meet the pastor of the church. They were very welcoming. Even the neighbors peeked over the walls to see what was happening.
We had a worship time with the tambourines and drums. I had a couple little girls that grabbed my hands and didn't let go. So, I was clapping with their hands in mine. They were dancing and singing. I was awestruck! I know in heaven this is going to be happening.
Even though most of us couldn't communicate we still had a connection. Greg did the lesson on Noah's ark and had animal masks for the kids to use to act it out. They were so cute! After the lesson I explained the craft and it worked out well. It was a little chaotic, but turned out well. There were a lot of kids under the age of 3. These people touched my life in just one afternoon. I cried leaving, not knowing when I'd see them again. On the way back to La Romana we had our second flat tire. So, we loaded up in the back of Ryan's pickup. It wasn't too bad, except a little windy. It gave me a different view of the countryside.
Friday (24th) we went to Punta Cana to the school that was just opened last year. Franklin is the pastor and his wife, Ilonka, is the administrator. They have over doubled the number of students (around 250 currently) and have added two new grades since last year. The school's reputation is growing. I taught three of the English classes. I was excited about getting back into the classroom after a week, but nervous not because of the students but because I would seem incompetent in front of the adults for not knowing enough Spanish to teach clearly. God showed me quickly not to live based on how others might view me, but do as He has directed me. The lessons were over things like scissors, desk, table, pencil, pencil sharpener, boy/girl. We reviewed a lot and did some games. Flexibility is the key.There were two sessions of school. The morning session goes from 8-12. The afternoon session goes from 2-6 pm.
In the evening we went to dinner at a nice Italian restaurant. It gave us time to visit with the whole team and reflect on the week. I sat at the end with Ryan/Erin and some of the guys and it was quite entertaining. Ryan had to explain everything on the menu, since it was all in Spanish. When we returned to the house we had a time of sharing our thoughts about the week. We had the privilege to pray for Victor's and Nahum's work with the church and the community in Higuey. We ended the week, as we had done many times throughout the week, with cards and dominoes.
Saturday (25th) was one of the hardest days for me- leaving. After breakfast we had a time of worship and a short encouraging message from Victor. Again we sang "How Great is Our God" in English and Spanish. Lifting up our voices together reminds me again of how heaven is going to be! Two languages praising one great God. Victor shared that we don't know if we will ever meet like this again on earth, but we will be reunited in heaven (where he says we will all speak Spanish). They are so thankful for what we've done even though to me it seems so small. I maintained my composure until we prayed and the tears flowed. My heart was breaking because I long to stay, serve, encourage, and support my brothers and sisters in Christ. The goodbyes were so hard, but in Nahum's words "there aren't goodbyes just see you later". The relationships we formed are ones that will last a lifetime. It's hard to describe how you can connect so well with people in just one week. I know I'll be back, but only God knows the when, where, and how. We drove to the airport, said more goodbyes, and off we were to the United States.
God is doing
awesome things in the Dominican. He is raising up leaders willing to
sacrifice for the sake of the Gospel. They have a vision and plan to see
God's work go forth with power. And we got to be a part of it for this
short time! One of my devotions this week really spoke to me... "The true test of a person's spiritual life and character is not what he does in the extraordinary moments of life, but what he does during the ordinary times when there is nothing tremendous or exciting happening. A person's worth is revealed in his attitude toward the ordinary things of life when he is not under the spotlight. The key to the missionary's work is the authority of Jesus Christ, not the needs of the lost. He does not say that the lost will not be saved if we don't go. He says, 'Go on the basis of the revealed truth of my sovereignty, teaching and preaching out of your living experiences of me'. " They are doing exactly this. In Higuey, La Romana, Punta Cana, and the surrounding areas, they are living Christ. What examples of how I want to live Christ!
I will say it was good to see my family, church, and students again! Coming back had it's challenges though. The weather was an adjustment. The cooler temperatures that I normally love seemed so much colder. It is definitely hot and humid in the Dominican. It's also hard for me to live with all the comforts and securities that most of us have in America, knowing the lack of those things in other countries. Basic things like electricity and water. At times I find myself frustrated with our mindset and inability to adjust to change. It's difficult coming back to a place where so many others have not experienced what I have and trying to explain it. However, it is a blessing to share what I've learned for those that don't have the opportunity to go. So, I hope in reading this you gain a sense, as I have, of how blessed we are- not just because of what material possessions or money we have, but because of Christ's great love and grace for us. That is something that we can share in abundance wherever we are. I continue to trust God to direct me and grant me the desires of my heart in His perfect time.
Acts 20:24 "None of these things can move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus...."
