At the end of the previous school year many staff left SCS. It was really hard to see so many go. But, it was God's plan that led them elsewhere and, for that, we rejoiced with them. The end of the year was very busy as it always is. I try to make the end of the year special for my students as it gets harder to focus with the excitement of summer plans running through their heads (and mine).
I began making my own summer plans and, on a crazy whim, decided to rent a car and head westward. My mom jumped at the chance of going with me. It turned into a 9 day trip, covering over 4,000 across 10 states.
Our adventure included stopping points at some spectacular places such as Badlands National Park, Yellowstone, Salt Lake, Mount Rushmore, and Arches National Park.
I won't begin to go into detail about each stop, but we drove hours every day and did sightseeing for as long as we had daylight. We made memories that we won't ever forget! It was exhausting and I was so glad to finally get back home. My mom was a great traveling companion. She kept me entertained during the long hours of driving. An adventure isn't truly an adventure without some challenges along the way, including a major hailstorm that did a lot of damage to our rental car. The rest of my summer was spent with family- traveling back and forth to see my older sister and go to Six Flags. She pushed me to do some rides I wouldn't normally do, but I surprisingly enjoyed (most of ) them.
Our family had some really difficult things going on and I found myself bottling a lot inside. I wanted to change different situations and couldn't. I was left feeling helpless and overwhelmed. I didn't realize at the time that I was taking on things that weren't mine to carry. The anxiety started showing itself through panic attacks after I arrived back in the Dominican Republic. I felt like I was going crazy. Little things would trigger a "flight" response. I tried and tried to "get better". The past continued to hold onto me, the present seemed burdensome, and the future consumed me with fears and worries. The time came that I finally reached out for help. I had to admit that I couldn't continue the way I had for too long. Simply surviving. But in the acknowledging of my lack of ability to understand myself, I found hope for the first time in awhile. I have a team of people who care about me, who are willing to walk this road with me, to challenge me, and encourage me. For too long I was silent about my anxiety. But in opening myself, I began to experience freedom. I don't base my worthiness on others or their views of me. I began to focus on me for the first time, not in fixing others or trying to change circumstances beyond my control. It's a process, a journey. Layer upon layer. Some days are great and others are much harder. I'm learning to be okay with both. I'm learning that things change, people come and go, the unexpected happens, and it's still okay! Again, I'm thankful for those who have been by me in the valleys and on the mountaintops. God put these people in my life for this time. They have been instruments of God's love to me when I needed it most. I haven't posted in awhile because it's hard to admit that life throws us curve balls and we choose our reaction to them. My reactions/thoughts aren't always rational, but I'm at a place now where I can talk it through. I find alternative ways to face fears and worries without going into the "flight" mode. I take one day at a time, choosing to live in the moment. There is great comfort in knowing the God I serve is Omniscient, Omnipresent, and Omnipotent. He has always gone before me and that is unchangeable.
In August, my new 3rd graders came into the classroom with extra enthusiasm and energy. My task was figuring out how to channel that into appropriate behavior. It was quite overwhelming and I had to continually try new things to find what worked with this group of students, what motivated them. I had the privilege of attending a "Responsive Classroom" workshop during the summer. This was an amazing opportunity to talk with other teachers and administrators about the struggles our students face and included many resources to help us to help them better. I left with many new "tools" for my "toolbox". Some things worked with my new group of third graders, but some did not. I am reminded that it is all about showing grace, as our school theme is for this year. Each day brings new challenges, but also hidden blessings. My class has come so far since the first months of school. We gradually progress with patience and wisdom. I love being a teacher and my classroom is a safe haven. I can't believe the year is half over already! We've had academics, parties, movies, laughter, and tears. I'm finding how unique each of my students is. They love to serve others! Third graders did a collection for Caminito de Jesus that brought in money for them during their sale on family day. 
We also raised a lot of money for the staff of a school in Puerto Rico to fix their homes after the hurricane tore through the area. My students really surprised me on my birthday! They showed up with a cake, balloons, and presents. I'm not sure I've ever been so surprised. We've had to prepare for two major hurricanes and shut down the school. God was so good and we were spared the major damage they had expected here in the Dominican Republic. Many of the islands around us were hit hard. Also, our school is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year. It was amazing to escape Santiago in November to go to the beach. A group of us girls went and enjoyed the beach, food, sunsets/sunrises, and more.
In December Vida Nueva, my church, did a gift collection called Project 1-1-1 and I had the privilege to serve alongside others to pass out these gifts, along with the gospel, to over 400 children this holiday season. What a blessing it was to see the smiles on these children's faces!
It's been quite an eventful few months.I am home for the holidays. It's wonderful to see how far we've all come. I enjoy our family time- watching movies, playing games, sitting by the Christmas tree and fireplace, and listening to Christmas songs.
I'll finish this entry with the following: If I have come to learn one of many important things, it would be to fully live in the present!
"Shut the gate on yesterday, and don't touch the gate on tomorrow. You no longer have yesterday. You do not yet have tomorrow. You only have today. Live in it!" Max Lucado
"When the train goes through a tunnel and it gets dark, you don't throw away the ticket and jump off, you sit still and trust the engineer." Corrie ten Boom
