This was not what I ever expected. Little did I know how much my life would change in a week. Having taught 14 years, it is hard for me to imagine doing anything else. I would teach all year and volunteer during the summers. I always seemed to make it work. But, this year was challenging. I LOVE my students, but teaching seemed a lot more stressful and I was having problems adjusting to the classroom routines this year. The decision was made last week that I needed a "sabbatical". I needed to step back and reevaluate my plans. This was a HARD decision, but looking back a week later, I realize it was the right decision. I need time to rest and heal. Thankfully I had so much support through this process! My mom was able to come help me pack up all my belongings I'd accumulated over three years.
6 overweight suitcases, 3 carry ons, 1 guitar. I had precious friends who helped me pack my classroom and a dear friend (my Dominican momma) who is letting me store my teaching things at her house. Many tears were shed as I said goodbye to my SCS family. While most were celebrating spring break, I was finishing a chapter of my story. God's ways are higher than my ways. God has a reason for me returning to the US this year. I might not see it now, but He remains trustworthy. I need some time to take care of myself, to deal with some medical issues, while receiving the support of my family. Before we flew home, my mom and I took a day off to go to the beach. Playa Alicia is a beautiful beach!
We needed the calmness after the chaos of packing, sorting, and repacking. At one point I was sitting in the sand, letting it sift through my fingers, and God spoke to me. I tried to count each grain of sand, but found it to be impossible. There were so many different colors and sizes. It was impossible....for me.
Yet, God knows the number of the grains of sand on the earth, the number of hairs on my head, the number of stars in the sky. He cares about ME. Whatever I face, I am not alone. And THAT is enough. For the first time all week I felt a wave of peace sweep over me. He knows my future. He knows that this time off gives me time to learn Spanish, take classes at the University, volunteer, get involved with my church, spend time with family, or whatever else He wants for me. So I choose to embrace this time, not fight it. He showed me that I had let teaching become my idol. In the midst of brokenness over the years I turned to teaching for comfort. It was the one thing I told God to not take away, because I had to have that to turn to. In His graciousness, He decided now was the time to test me. It was very hard to fly away knowing I didn't have a return ticket. I was the one not clapping, but crying, on the plane as we landed in Miami.
Transition is hard! Many times already I have said I want to go "home". But I'm reminded this world is not my home. I'm just passing through. This is a season of my life and there is so much for me to look forward to. God's not done with me yet. I know in His perfect timing He will send me back to the Dominican Republic.
