The last day of 2020. I never could have imagined one year ago how life would be so different in the upcoming months. In a short time the world shut down: travel stopped, schools/churches/businesses closed, store shelves emptied, and life moved online. Fear swelled, panic broke out, and life as we knew it halted. In its place brought covid case testing, toilet paper and cleaning supply shortages, stay-at-home orders, mass production of masks and sanitizer, and media overload. Yet in the midst of the chaos, God remained faithful. His blessings didn't end; I just had to look for them. This was a choice I had to make, especially when I was overwhelmed with negativity.
Instead of looking back at 2020 wishing it didn't happen (although at times I did), I look back with gratefulness. Every year brings joy and heartache, and this year was no different in that regard. I asked often throughout the last year why God would be allowing all of this chaos to happen. He was in control of it all. He could make it stop. However, the answer I got was it wasn't my job to know the whys. I simply needed to trust. Maybe God wanted to send a "wake up call" to slow down from the fast paced, overworked lives we tend to live. To focus on more important things, like our relationships with Him and family. Or maybe it's to focus on others' needs and how to serve them. Whatever the case, I believe He is orchestrating all the events for His purpose.
I'm so grateful for the addition of my nephew in April. In the midst of all the confusion that was going on, he was like a bundle of hope/light coming into our lives. I have gotten to watch him grow and reach milestones the last several months. I'm thankful for more time with family: doing puzzles, playing games, watching movies, and just being together. I've had time to pick up old hobbies such as scrapbooking, camping, playing the guitar, and reading. The stay-at-home months gave me more focused time to spend with God in prayer and devotions.
God showed his daily provision by giving us exactly what we needed when we needed it: replacing a furnace and washer, fixing water heater and stove gas leaks, transmission repair, and more in just a couple months time. He provided jobs for my sisters in the middle of a pandemic. He provided support during the lonely, anxious times, whether it was in person or through zoom calls. I was able to continue homeschooling online and maintain an income. He truly is the great provider.
There were also many opportunities to enjoy God's beautiful nature: walks, camping under the stars, sitting in the backyard by a fire, or hammocking by the lake. I began to really appreciate the quiet moments and found peace during the times of reflection and rest. I'm thankful for seemingly little things like being able to buy a pool for the backyard (since I love to swim), a day out shopping (even if we had to go to Indiana), coffee with a friend, seeing my co-op kiddos' smiles every week, and spending holidays with family (even if it didn't turn out quite as we hoped).
Technology is a blessing. I was able to attend a wedding in the Dominican Republic via zoom. I am able to see my dad, even though he has been "locked down" for most of the year, and he can see his grandson. I can facetime family to keep up to date. Groceries can be ordered and delivered. Bible study groups can still connect. Churches went to online services, reaching more people who wouldn't have gone to church otherwise. What an opportunity to send the gospel into countless homes!
This year has given me a lot of time, maybe too much, to overthink things. Typically I would fill my days with busyness to keep my mind occupied, but with so many things closed or cancelled it was difficult. I've been learning to not run from the slow pace, but to use this time to face what I fear, enjoy a quiet moment, press in to God, and connect with the people I'm with.
I can acknowledge I miss the "normalcy". I miss hugging my dad. I miss going to our library with my student and teaching in person. I miss going out to eat with family and sitting in a restaurant. I miss the pre-mask days. I miss traveling without restrictions. I miss a lot of things that I won't list. However, I'm reminded that these days won't last forever. Certain things will go back to "normal" in time. I won't take them for granted when they do.
I recognize how tough this year has been, but I am thankful for the blessings that have come from it and the things it has taught me. I know God's faithfulness will continue to carry me through whatever 2021 brings, because His faithfulness endures forever.
